Listen

Image by Ant Rozetsky on Unsplash

You can hear it,

When someone gets on a bus

When someone’s sits in the seat behind you

Their knees banging and hitting the

Back

Of

Your

Seat

Their bag jangling

The slight bump as they sit

They faint sound of their breath

Are you here to wait too?

If you listen closely you can tell when someone is

Getting

On

The

Bus

Image by Aaron Sebastian on Unsplash

And,

In the middle of a crowded street

Where amidst the people

I have planted

My

Feet

I hear a baby crying,

Was I ever that young?

Young enough?

So young that I didn’t feel ashamed of crying loud,

Crying ugly,

Crying so the whole world could hear

Crying without caring what you think?

Was I ever that young?

Image by Emma Trevison on Unsplash

You can feel it,

Every image

Every story that blurs behind

Your eyes

You can’t see it,

It drops too fast

Too quickly

And it soaks into your skin

So you can feel it again,

And again

And again

Every image that blues behind your eyes

Can you feel it?

Image by Sven Scheuermeier on Unsplash

And sometimes,

When I’m watching the particles of dust in the bright

Bright

Sunlight

I see you

Did I ever know you?

Am I supposed to?

I can’t bring myself to reach forward

So I withdraw back

Into at shell

Do I even know you?

Image by Grace Brauteseth on Unsplash

You can smell it,

Like a tiny wave

Transfixed by you

For a plot srcond

Before crashing down

Over and over again

It repeats;

It can only hold itself up for so long

Or maybe it doesn’t want to

But it can’t help but be drawn

The tiny wave.

You can smell it.

Do I even know you?

Image by chris liu on Unsplash

Listen

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Quote#25

Do you still think it’s funny?

When I was in preschool, I was sexually assaulted. He was my friend. He came up with his group of other friends. I didn’t know what was happening but I screamed and shouted and cried but no one heard, maybe they pretended not to hear. Do you still think it’s funny?

When I was in preschool I was sexually assaulted. I felt so weak, so helpless. I blamed it on myself. If only I have been stronger. If only I have been braver. Then they wouldn’t have touched me, then I could have run away. If only I had screamed louder. Do you still think it’s funny?

When I was in preschool I was sexually assaulted. I’m so scared to tell people because it makes me feel so embarrassed I want to die. So embarrassed. If only I wasn’t such a coward. Do you still think it’s funny,

If you see me being flustered around boys and men it’s not because I’m shy, it’s not because I have a crush on them. It’s because I’m scared of them. I’m scared that they will do something to me. Sure, maybe not every single male in the world is like them but how am I supposed to know who is and who is not? I’ve become a coward unable to face my fear. Or maybe it’s no a fear, maybe it’s a trauma. It’s not something I can just forget with time. It’s not something I can just get over after a few moments of facing it head on. Don’t tell me it is. I’ve tried. Do you still think it’s funny?

Lately on the Internet, out in the community, at school I hear people making jokes about sexual assault. Throwing the words around like they mean nothing. Sure they may mean nothing to you but they hurt so much for the victims. Stop laughing about it if you don’t understand the trauma. Stop laughing at it if you don’t understand the fear victims have to face. Stop saying that’s it’s a simple problem that will just pass with the time. Please stop. They aren’t just words you just laugh at. They’re my trauma. My nightmare. Do you still think it’s funny?

Please share-it’s not something to hide, it’s something to tell.

Quote#23