When I was in preschool, I was sexually assaulted. He was my friend. He came up with his group of other friends. I didn’t know what was happening but I screamed and shouted and cried but no one heard, maybe they pretended not to hear. Do you still think it’s funny?
When I was in preschool I was sexually assaulted. I felt so weak, so helpless. I blamed it on myself. If only I have been stronger. If only I have been braver. Then they wouldn’t have touched me, then I could have run away. If only I had screamed louder. Do you still think it’s funny?
When I was in preschool I was sexually assaulted. I’m so scared to tell people because it makes me feel so embarrassed I want to die. So embarrassed. If only I wasn’t such a coward. Do you still think it’s funny,
If you see me being flustered around boys and men it’s not because I’m shy, it’s not because I have a crush on them. It’s because I’m scared of them. I’m scared that they will do something to me. Sure, maybe not every single male in the world is like them but how am I supposed to know who is and who is not? I’ve become a coward unable to face my fear. Or maybe it’s no a fear, maybe it’s a trauma. It’s not something I can just forget with time. It’s not something I can just get over after a few moments of facing it head on. Don’t tell me it is. I’ve tried. Do you still think it’s funny?
Lately on the Internet, out in the community, at school I hear people making jokes about sexual assault. Throwing the words around like they mean nothing. Sure they may mean nothing to you but they hurt so much for the victims. Stop laughing about it if you don’t understand the trauma. Stop laughing at it if you don’t understand the fear victims have to face. Stop saying that’s it’s a simple problem that will just pass with the time. Please stop. They aren’t just words you just laugh at. They’re my trauma. My nightmare. Do you still think it’s funny?
Please share-it’s not something to hide, it’s something to tell.
H.C.A Agate 