To know that people accept you for who you are, that’s great.

But to know that people love you for who you are, that’s even better.

— H.C.A Agate

People tell you to speak up when you are going through or have went through something awful, unbearable. They tell you that they will listen, but do they really?

All those times in my life I’ve tried to speak up to the people who say they will listen, my words fall to deaf ears, my traumatizing experiences are downplayed, and, instead of that relief that people say you will feel if you speak up, I feel so depressed.

I was discriminated throughout primary school as I was one of the few, very few, Chinese/ Asian people in my school. They shunned me because of my yellow skin, my small, eyes, my flat face; typical Asian stereotypes. When I told them that they had hurt me, they told me that it was a joke. Joke or not, I was ashamed to be Asian.

In preschool, I was sexually assaulted by a group of boys I thought were my friends. They touched me, they licked me and I cried out for help but no one heard. Ever since then, I was uncomfortable around boys and men. I couldn’t stand near them, couldn’t talk to them, couldn’t pay for my shopping if they were at the counter. I told my mum, she said that it should be easy to forget about as they were just young children too. She said that I shouldn’t be too sensitive.

And now, this obsession with weight, with being thin, with being pretty, it’s destroying me. I can’t go outside because I feared people were judging me. Every eye that looked up, that darted around, was judging me. I used to wear over sized and long hoodies, even when it was hot, to disguise my not so skinny legs.

All those times I tried to tell people how I felt they ignored me.

The thing about discrimination, racism, mental health is not recognizing it, it’s not turning your back.

Now on a different note, here is the content you will find on my blog:

• Quotes- some that I have made up and some I have found
• Playlists- Unknown and deep songs and other genres
• Poetry
• Articles about issues that I are important to me such as, racism to Asians and people conforming to fit in with societies standards
• Short stories or one-shots

Also, this is the first time I have created a blog so please don’t expect a lot from my writing.